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But you can’t always rely on getting “gimmes” like that. You have to take a chance and lead into these sexual subjects.
Instead, assume if you’ve been talking to a woman for a minimum of 15-30 minutes (at a bar or on a date), it’s safe to try leading into more enticing conversation.
Very few women are going to lead it there or say “You can ask me about sex now!
” Now if you’re naturally discussing a related topic like The movie, past relationships / hookups / dates, online dating, or first kisses — then take that opportunity to move into more intimate topics.
We all do it, it’s not a big deal.” As I awaited the wrath of three women, I was surprised to hear them laughing and sharing their opinions.
With a tipsy grin I shot back, “Oh please, we’re all adults here.
I’m not expecting you walk up to random women with questions women like that. In fact, I’ve found that while that approach can work, you usually get a much stronger response and connection if you wait until later in the conversation.
“My friend and I just made a bet and we want you to settle it. ” I’d just read some pick-up advice that told me to approach girls in bars with that question. They even began debating each other and trying to argue their viewpoints playfully to me.
After a couple of minutes, we were all introducing ourselves and hitting it off like old friends.
Why did women suddenly respond with enthusiasm rather than distaste?
Whether it’s friends, family, religion, or media — many of us were raised to think that expressing our sexual interest (flirting) was wrong. This is especially true for many women who are afraid of being seen as “slutty” or too forward.
Because of this, women often won’t signal their interest first.
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People who have experienced various forms of sexual trauma are feeling triggered and shut down.